Saturday, August 22, 2009

Teens Embarrassed by Parents

Went to a block party in July. The band played a “jaunty tune” from the 70’s*, so a dad dragged his teen to the dance area and began to make a fool of himself. That’s okay, because everyone born before 1988 looked foolish, to that teen’s eyes. She stood like a statue, arms folded, in the middle of all the dancers.

Actually, I think she looked more foolish.

It would have been a sweet moment if she humored her dad by dancing with him. How many times will she get the chance in the future? One day she may wish she danced more with him!

Where was I at the party? Sitting down, under the intense, oppressive, threatening eyes of my son, who was already prepared to feel tremendous rolling waves of humiliation. I was not allowed to rise.

This kid stopped letting me chaperone his school trips back in sixth grade, even when the teachers were pleading for help. Middle school boys experience so much shame.

If these kids only knew… how insignificant an imprint their “embarrassments” have on other people’s memories. Most people can’t dance (and, of course, some can’t dance more than others).

My own parents couldn’t dance, but I thought it was great that when they went out there, they danced together. I felt whole and happy, never embarrassed.

I rarely danced in public back when I was a teen; as time goes by and I’ve grown older, however, I feel more of my own person and would be the first on the dance floor if it weren’t for abuse I’d receive from my offspring.

It’s all in their minds. That’s okay.

* The song was “Brick House” by the Commodores (featuring Nicole Richie's dad, Lionel). It had been so long since I heard it, so hard to resist. I attempted to dance on my butt in the chair, but my son held my shoulders down. What songs can’t you resist dancing to when they come on?


Love me some Commodores…

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